(“A Frivolous Waste of Your Time”)

(…you have been warned…)

I appreciate that software companies have designers on staff to enhance the overall user experience. As “soft”ware, there is a certain amount of on-going enhancement that we users have come to expect.

But when does it just become decor for decor’s sake — when is it time to leave well enough alone? And who makes this call (well, I likely no the answer to that and I am going to posit that it is NOT the end user who says “hey, time to update those graphics!).

Rewind a bit – I am a VLTU/VEA (very long term user/very early adaptor) to/of Duolingo. I am on something like a 5 or 6 year streak and have spent oh so very much time inside their product learning spanish, italian, german, french and now japanese.

And so it is with some amount of Authority that I come to you today to ask exactly WTF is going on with this past week’s release of updated Duo characterizations?

Rewind a bit again. “Duo” is their brilliant green “owl” who stands as mascot to all things “Duolingo.” Duo is cheerleader, nudge, host and oh so many other things as the user progresses their way through this character strewn world.

As a relatively young and rapidly growing company, I have forgiven the Good People behind Duolingo for many of what I see as Points of Interest along their learning curve: Their overly invasive sales pitches for tiered service upsells, their willingness to pool users together in competition where it just isn’t humanly possible that someone(s) are making 5,000 points per day, even the unsettling reuse of clearly male vs female character graphics AND NAMES accompanied by voices which are also clearly of the opposite sex. Unsettling but something one can adapt to as a limitation caused by far too few native Japanese speakers.

But what the actual eff is going on with this?

I tried not to be too jolted when the head of the owl appeared on the body of the unicorn. Well, I did complain about it a bit and certainly asked a lot of WTFs. But, I moved on. I shall move on from this as well, but not until I’ve put this out there and asked — WTF? Is this Duo experiencing the Rapture? Did Duo take way to big a bump of meth? Is Duo under the influence of a softworld hypnotist and even as we watch is leaping off a cliff to his very death.

Unsettling at best and certainly not a warm and cozy way of saying “way to go on that last (endless) lesson of learning to type in hirigana.”

And then there was this.

This makes me feel like I should drink more decaf. And so should Duo. As someone who is well familiar with Anger Management Issues, this just reeks to me of screaming abuse. This image actually upset me a bit when it first popped up (these are all parts of animation, and certainly an excellent effort on the staffs’ part, but gheesh, really?). Duo needs a big ol’ time out. And I need a valium.

Now, did I do this screed for just a couple of images? No, I surely did not.

Moving on.

I mean, I guess we all guess where this is going, right? This is “atta boy, great job, you’re a super star.” But Duolingo is international and aimed (me thinks) at all age groups. I also believe that the Good People behind Duolingo are a pretty DEI-driven group (oh yes I did — nothing to be seen here, move along). They have multiple gay characters in various relationships including marriage. They have old and young, single dads, internationally diverse and on and on. The whole banana. The full spectrum.

And so I was a bit shocked to see such a hyper masculine use of the (usually quite round and soft and somewhat lazy?) Duo. Also, is #1 just for body-building? And isn’t Duolingo much much much more of an intellectual pursuit — learning languages, math, playing chess — even mastering a musical instrument like piano? Why the association of “winning” and being “the best” with such a hyper-masculine image of their mascot? This feels both a tad creepy and a little far afield.

Ah, and last but certainly never least, this rant would not be complete without this Outing.

Duo in Drag.

Or is there finally a Ms Duo?

Is this a love interest? Or is this a full-on, out of the closet and into the sunshine Duo in Drag (DD) moment!?!? I’m not even sure I understood the context in which I was “rewarded” with a flying Due updating their lipsticks while saying “way to finish that chapter, superstar.” Maybe this is Beyoncé Duo? I just don’t know. So many Duos, so many costume changes, so much morphing.

I think I could use a small cocktail now.